One breath at a time

Honoring my friend John Chapman

2011-06-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

John was very committed to Theravadan Buddhism. And long-distance bicyling. And cancer treatment, too--another thing he showed up for that takes stamina.

And he was taken from us by a hit and run driver in PA, doing what he loved, bicycling.

Is he now one lifetime closer to enlightenment? I don't know. As Kevin Griffin recently kept repeating as an answer to numerous questions about karma at New York Insight Meditation: "Don't know." He was quoting another teacher, I think. I guess I forget because I tend to check out when big mystical questions come up about karma and reincarnation.

If karma is blockage from the divine infinite self, it seems like John had not much, if any. So did his deathless qualities pick up their bags and go into another being? To the universe?

Don't know.

I am not committed to Theravadan Buddhist practice. It just never totally clicked and after 10 years I doubt it will. I like retreats, I appreciate the container, but they're difficult. So I am even ambivalent about those.

I have other practices I also don't-commit to: yoga, reiki, and tai chi. Among others. I try to do more teaching and healing, because that's when I feel most connected to the infinite. But I'm sorry my lack of focus kept me from seeing John in class. I never would've thought my last hug from him was when I saw him in January, indulging in a class because I coordinated with a friend to have dinner before, and a ride home with after. Yes, that's where the motivation came from.

I guess we're all in different places. I'm glad he was on the path. Was he helped by me the way I was by him on the path?

Don't know.

Back on track

2011-05-18T11:07:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in forever, admittedly my little spiritual blurbs go on Facebook! But I've been teaching regularly in Fort Tryon Park and sporadically with Gear to Go Outfitters--definitely outdoors is dominant, maybe because my weekly tai chi class is outdoors so the energy follows.

I've been doing morning yoga classes at Mind Body Soul in Washington Heights, weather permitting for the long walk of course. Needless to say not weekly as planned, so I've wasted yet another class card!

Just meditation-retreated with Kevin Griffin, who's book name this blog inadvertently plagiarized, and my Hawaii retreat with him was fantastic. I've taken other classes with George Pitagorsky and Gina Sharpe and trying to practice steadily with Sandra Weinberg.

Soon I'll be posting for a low cost class I plan to teach (guess where?) outdoors...

From Charles Matkin

2010-03-30T13:18:00.000-07:00

I took a workshop with him in near-hurricane conditions out on Long Island a couple of weeks ago--and then today found this awesome quote by him from a Yoga Journal interview from probably 2008:

"...yoga and spirituality won't fix your emotional life...They're incredible tools. But you can meditate to numb your feelings, too, and that gets you nowhere. I think meditation works best when you use it to see more clearly what's going on inside, so you can act from a more balanced place."

He makes spiritual practice make sense! I'm such a fan now, much more than when I used to see him on the Yoga Zone videos (yes, I had them on VHS, my mom gave me several about 10 yeras ago) and TV show from the early 00's.

Frost Valley YMCA Women's Wellness Retreat 2010

2010-03-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

I had a great time teaching yoga at this year's retreat which had the theme of integrating mind, body, and spirit. I was interviewed for a short web video clip and got to demo yoga on camera, a first which made me realize how much I want to do videos besides my audio podcasts. The yoga sessions were fun for me, mixing yoga and reiki and talking about how the practice relates to life.

The Catskill mountains were beautiful and I did yoga in the brisk mountain air Saturday after giving a private reiki session and taking a meditation class. No less than 5 deer paused to watch me. They were skittish--snorting and stomping a bit, not knowing what to make of the quiet, barely moving human being. I beamed them a little reiki so they would hopefully not get run over as they seemed to be undecided about crossing the road once they decided I was no threat and they walked by. Always good to see animal fight or flight to learn about my own which I practice yoga to help heal.

I explored watercolors in a workshop as part of my ongoing Artist's Way work. (I'm on Week 8! Been doing morning pages but not religiously and sort of doing the artist's dates.) I'm messy but I guess that's OK, I got colors on paper and that's working the throat/creative chakra.

As usual, my friends from Long Island drove me home which kept the spirit of the retreat alive for a few more hours, thank goodness.

IntenSati

2010-03-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

I tried a DVD of the IntenSati workout today with Patricia Moreno, who does a very good DVD also by Gaiam for kickboxing. It was good for my heart rate; the affirmations I followed along by ear only, not by voice. I liked the cultivation of gratitude mostly. Although repetitious at times I thought the rhythmic movements were good exercise and grounding and the hour went by pretty fast.

My most recent Kundalini video, Solar Power, was actually not as intense as the other Raviana DVD for the solar plexus chakra called Navel Power but it felt like a solid session and I enjoyed Ana Brett's circa 1984-looking "relax" orange t-shirt. I'm dabbling in their recent all-meditation DVD and liking it because it gives me focus.

The ipod is the smartest thing I've ever bought! I listen to many an ignored meditation mp3 on the subway now. Vidya, Bodhipaksa, and a set from Whole Foods called Meditations to Change Your Mind as well as the CD for Energy Moves. I may not develop real concentration with my on-the-go practice but now I stand a chance at relaxation.

I've done some reiki exchange but, other than finding a new studio space to rent, have not much going on with the teaching except that at the end of the month is my annual teaching at Frost Valley!

Krishna Das on Long Island

2010-01-11T14:23:00.000-08:00

Another great Long Island spiritual event! I saw Krishna Das with David Nichtern--NY dharma teacher who I honestly maybe heard 7 years ago but am not sure-- on guitar. I can't believe I didn't readily know who he was, I've heard him during yoga classes a million times, he was recognizable immediately. We chanted lots of sanskrit stuff, some in English, basically praising God. It was ecstatic, some folks were dancing around during the fast chants.

Other spiritual practice of late? I tried Journey Through the Chakras, a holistic practice from Ravi Singh and Ana Brett. Did a great class with my friend Susan, classic Dharma Mittra style that I can only do about 75% of actually. Working on tai chi form fundamentals--the full form broken down--I really have to pay attention now, help! Had a fantastic, amazing retreat with Gloria Taraniya Ambrosia--she's like Lilias Folan, a mature, composed, and vital lady who feels nurturing. It was a tremendous retreat that helped me with meditation. I also heard Sandra Weinberg last week, and she gave a funny, real Dharma Talk--this is also related to New York Insight.

Then, in the spirit of a true "sandwich" retreat, another long weekend with my regular group at Garrison. Love the silence and nature. It's an escape without the escapism. It's tough, there are tears, tiredness. It's worth it.

And my regular teacher gave a class last night on joy, how it's needed for meditation. Indeed, just being with the mind when it's suffering deeply can be way too much. Trying to start Vipassana meditation after 9/11 was ridiculous, I can't believe I tried for so long. I still barely sit, mostly rely on retreats for what I feel is meaningful practice.

Here's to whatever lies ahead in the new year and decade. The flow of chi, reiki, prana...

In honor of Betsy

2009-12-21T11:53:00.000-08:00

Betsy, who received reiki from me for several months after being diagnosed with cancer, passed away on Saturday. I was present and she received the reiki like a sponge right until the vet came to end her suffering. I am so grateful things went as peacefully as they did. Sonia, Betsy's mom, and I did some meditation and chants afterwards, and in addition to the reiki said prayers before (as well as after).

I met Betsy when she was sick, but she definitely had a spark and I'm sure it's shining brightly now, just in a different way.

shape shifting=breathing

2009-11-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Yoga was canceled and I had no problem spending a rainy Saturday at an anatomy workshop by Leslie Kaminoff (hosted by the Long Island Yoga Association). I work near his studio but am yet to actually attend anything there. We learned that the diaphragm connects to so many different parts of the body, from the tongue to foot ligaments! So expanding the diaphragm--shape shifting, though not necessarily through downward, belly-outward force of air--deepens the breath. I like this idea of expansiveness. So postures can shift the shape of the diaphragm and the breath can naturally deepen.

Randy Fahrbach led another inspiring meditation webinar last night, drawing from the St Francis prayer and offering, as usual, a range of tools.

kirtan and Energy Moves

2009-11-11T14:42:00.000-08:00

This Saturday I'll be teaching a short yoga session in Inwood Park, can't wait! The last was excellent, we had a not-too-sunny day that allowed the Inwood and Palisades fall colors to glow. Nature was our teacher, especially for mountain pose and rag doll with our heads hanging like pieces of fruit.

I participated in an energizing kirtan Sunday. I love kirtan, which I had thought was New Age and weird, but it's healing! As Wah! says, you're singing praises to god, whatever your understanding of god may be. Singing/chanting is shown to have therapeutic benefit for stress reduction, even if the bhakti-devotional aspects are unappealing.

I also did a fantastic class with CJ McPhee and her Energy Moves system, it's so gentle and relaxing. For anyone interested in tai chi and chi gung, these motions are easy to follow yet feel very renewing. Soon her DVD/CD will be available on Amazon, which I've used and enjoy. Simplicity meets healing.

Yoga out in nature

2009-10-26T09:24:00.000-07:00

Ah, fall, time of cool weather and pretty colors. But I've been sick and am just starting to feel remotely normal. I credit my acupuncturist, Nan Yi Chun, and doing 5 kundalini videos in the past week by the inimitable Ana Brett and Ravi Singh. I didn't think I had it in me, but I made myself get more active with the DVD subtitled "Super Fun Fitness", Yoga Warrior Workout, Yoga for Energy and Super Radiance, Navel Power and lastly my favorite Fat Free Yoga, Lose Weight and Feel Great. I followed up with Dance the Chakras which I did most of Saturday and the rest of the day. If this is my kundalini rising, then karma must've erased most of it in a past life. It's more like kundalini eeking. But, hey, I'm not feeling like I could fall asleep at the drop of the hat--as I have so much of the past almost 2 months thanks to so many viruses, most of which I seem to catch. I'm having my apartment checked for water damage, I'm nervous about mold sickness.

Anyway, I'm still enjoying Kevin Griffin's talks a lot. They're very inspiring.

I've been doing some private yoga and reiki and still learning so much from my dog client who in spite of having a progressed cancer has quite a spark in her spirit. I'm glad to be doing more of my healing work.

I'll be teaching outdoors with the Northern Manhattan meetup:
http://www.meetup.com/Northern-Manhattan-Outside/calendar/11637980/

And I've published some more podcasts, finally venturing into audio-only yoga! There's a new meditation pod there, too.

Be well!

A great new teacher

2009-09-17T15:01:00.000-07:00

He lives in California, so I may never get to take a dharma class with him in person, but Kevin Griffin's such an inspiration to me. The teacher I've been looking for!

One Breath at a Time: Buddhism and the 12 Steps is a book I find fully captivating. Kevin talks about his journey of both recovery and meditation, and for him it's been a long and winding road. I thrive on his honesty! And how he makes very Western sense out of Buddhist principles through the 12 steps. I've just started listening to his talks and am enjoying how down to earth he is.

Because I'm so very ADD, I've begun listening to Than Geoff's chanting while I do morning yoga and tai chi. Hey, it's better than watching tivo'ed reruns of Locked Up Abroad while I do it, and trust me, that temptation is huge. What can I say, multi-tasking's hard to release.

So, I've done more Kundalini DVDs and found Navel Power to be rather intense--it's so brilliant, make an empowering abs-strengthening yoga DVD, you'll sell like hotcakes. It's in the slightly older style of the Ravi Singh/Ana Brett videos--start white background with her hair dark. It pushed me to practice intensely, and with my aging joints and inversion contraindications, this for me is a great way to do so with this more ecstatic movement.

I also tried one of their intriguing cardio-integrated newer DVDs, Yoga for Energy and Super Radiance. I'm not gonna lie, I couldn't wait for it to be over. I did the ambitious matrix mix, which was broken on mine and left out some ever important chanting (the guided meditations, chants, and closing prayer to me are hugely appealing elements of their DVDs). They had the funny fake lush outdoor background with Ana blonde this time. I really felt a shift--I even delayed acupuncture, which is pretty much the one thing that keeps me going, I got quite a boost. Tiger claws was not to be believed, these rhythmic raised arm movements that never seemed to end! and this repeating prayer pose was also of that ilk--aggravating but energizing. "Mindful of aversion"--I had to make up my own modifications!

So that's home practice, for what it's worth--and if it's not cancelled I'll finally attend a real class at the Long Island Yoga Association's Brentwood retreat center.

I taught briefly on a hike with a great group of people, what a treat! I'm lucky I've known such fantastic students since I've been teaching, they make me want to teach. Thank you all!

Back to square one

2009-08-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

I learned yoga with Lilias Folan's PBS program starting in 1991, and for many years that, and her workshops, was how I practiced. I taped her shows (remember VHS?) and used classes on cassette (remember those, too?). Now I'm using elaborate and customizable DVDs by other teachers because my work schedule's unpredictable. So's my energy level! Ironically I tried a Kripalu DVD this Monday morning, didn't work late and went to a class after work with Robyn Ross, the prana being much more plentiful in that setting.

I liked the Vinyasa Flow DVD I did which is "Rated #1 Kripalu Flow" according to the cover. Not sure who rated it. But it's a nice beach setting and I can kind of get past the young fitness model types on screen. This company also produced Heart Flow Yoga, an anusura class, coincidentally also #1. These classes in person are way too hard to do for me, they actually kinda stress me out, though once in awhile I'll still go to a class with Elena Brower who I found to be amazing 10 years ago and so did the rest of NYC. That DVD was decent as well.

It's nice to have a backup plan. It's really empowering. My own practice is not as buttoned up as it could be--sloth and torpor the buddhists call it, no?

I ordered a bunch more Kundalini DVDs. I think my sluggish system just responds well to the fieriness of it, even though restorative is what I truly want! I'll see how those turn out. One I ordered for a meditation. Buddhist meditation is not quite doing it for me, my monkey brain can't quite get into it. It doesn't feel like a right fit. So I've bought some different kind of CDS, also back to square one in that arena, pre-classes. And I'm going to a retreat with a new teacher tomorrow, so I'm still trying different things and making serious efforts even though my daily practice is more or less zoning out on the subway after finishing up the Wildmind online breath meditation course that was good structure while I stay away from in-person classes right now. What would life be without resistance? Unthinkable for me! Ah, practice.

Second podcast--sponge pose

2009-07-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Use the same link to podbean, below, to find my next podcast. This one is about the use of breathwork, visualization, and progressive relaxation to open energy channels and boost relaxation. You can use it after some yoga practice, on its own, and before sleep. Namaste!

As far as my own practice goes, since I found out I may have glaucoma forming in my left eye and can no longer do shoulderstand or headstand, I've been enjoying kundalini yoga videos by Ana Brett and Ravi Singh which would the glands with very few inversions. Only one shoulderstand so far, which I skipped. I also tried Sadie Nardini's first DVD. Her classes years ago were always a little much for me, too fitness-y and trendy, but her DVD was a good way to push myself. I was sweating a lot and had an unusual calm in some meditation after, good for someone like me who wants to stay in restorative poses all day long. And also, not yoga, but the Exhale Pilates Plus DVD is great--10 minute killer bursts and some very great energy from the instructors.

I've been taking meditation classes with Bodhipaksa as facilitated by his coteacher Sunada through Wildmind, and it's been a great change of pace. They offer mindfulness of breathing and metta/lovingkindness, no pressure to make classes in person, which I have been unable to do due to work or not feeling great. His guiding is some of the best I've ever heard, and I'm enjoying the support of a female teacher. They've inspired me to do more virtual teaching as well.

First podcast is available!

2009-07-24T13:39:00.000-07:00

Check out yogaclass.podbean.com

I'm doing most of my class practice with DVDs so I decided I want to teach virtually too!

Summer update

2009-07-08T11:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't been able to say formally what a great time I've had teaching this year once again at the Frost Valley Women's Wellness Retreat! That was in March and I got to teach 5 fantastic classes, and got some beautiful feedback from students who ended up trying out yoga because it was rainy our last morning there. Surrounded by the majestic mountains and pre-blooming trees, "prana", or life force, felt like it was everywhere.

I have done meditation classes and retreats with my regular teacher, and also Loch Kelly, who has honed his instruction so that is very Westerner-friendly and you can truly drop into detaching from thought in each moment. I was blessed to go on a daylong with him at New York Insight Meditation Center in June.

My own dayjob schedule has kept me from going to many yoga classes, but I pratice on my own, of course, and took a karma-clearing workshop about working with the chakras with my teaching instructor, Dr Jeff Migdow, at Greenhouse Holistic in Brooklyn in late June. All of us students were women! Jeff said the tide is turning toward the feminine. I could use some power. I'm sure all our yoga at Women's Wellness is helping to turn the tide.

I've been certified to practice animal reiki, and have a lovely little yorkie as a client. I hope to do more of this healing. The yorkie sniffs and licks my hands as it to say she knows the energy coming from them is ready for her. Her nickname is "reiki sponge."

Well, as far as my teaching goes, I hope to do more of it. I'm focusing on teaching 12 step recovery conscious-contact classes, infertility, triathlete yoga, among other healing needs privately right now, and eventually perhaps in a workshop setting.

Thankssaro Bikkhu

2009-03-10T14:55:00.000-07:00

My meditation teacher's teacher is a monk whose American name is Geoffrey DeGraff. He was in town from California last week and I heard 2 of 3 talks about the Brahma Viharas. He's captivating, his guided meditations are about a refreshing breath and taking care of yourself and it was really kind of a chakra meditation.

He came to the meditation teacher's group Saturday and spoke, it was even more amazing because our group was used to his teaching and very receptive, whereas at the other talks there was tension. We offered food and I was embarrassed to have a fellow student offer to him my store bought fruit salad and chocolate heart cookies. I just figured all the food would be in pile on the table. He only eats one meal a day so he took a little bit of everything. I asked how his alms bowl, which is big a metal, got through security. Apparently, he's had problems.

And my favorite story was how his heart chakra, perhaps further opened by shiatsu massage, set off an airport metal detector! I was about ready to take my vows after hearing that, but I think it's escapism!

a weekend of connection

2009-02-09T13:49:00.000-08:00

I had a great weekend studying a Buddhist sutta (I like the term "sutra") and having a potluck dinner with my meditation group, plus I helped assess the practice teaches of students from my yoga school. They were in loud, tight quarters, but still did a really excellent job and it was hard to believe it was their first practice teach.

I struggled with learning "cloud hands" in tai chi but used my hands for healing in reiki later on Sunday to help a friend deal with back pain and grief. I felt so much energy flow, it was incredible. Sometimes I don't detect it strongly. Was it from the tai chi? Yoga the day before? Acupuncture Friday? Who knows, all I care about is feeling the flow and feeling connected to the universe and god (of my understanding)!

Welcome to "One breath at a time"

2009-02-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone!

I decided to start a yoga blog, to combine the two loves of my life, yoga and writing. This way I can reflect on my own spiritual journey, in general and as a yoga student myself, while getting the word out about teaching and yoga-esque things that I plan to do and stay connected to students.