John was very committed to Theravadan Buddhism. And long-distance bicyling. And cancer treatment, too--another thing he showed up for that takes stamina.
And he was taken from us by a hit and run driver in PA, doing what he loved, bicycling.
Is he now one lifetime closer to enlightenment? I don't know. As Kevin Griffin recently kept repeating as an answer to numerous questions about karma at New York Insight Meditation: "Don't know." He was quoting another teacher, I think. I guess I forget because I tend to check out when big mystical questions come up about karma and reincarnation.
If karma is blockage from the divine infinite self, it seems like John had not much, if any. So did his deathless qualities pick up their bags and go into another being? To the universe?
Don't know.
I am not committed to Theravadan Buddhist practice. It just never totally clicked and after 10 years I doubt it will. I like retreats, I appreciate the container, but they're difficult. So I am even ambivalent about those.
I have other practices I also don't-commit to: yoga, reiki, and tai chi. Among others. I try to do more teaching and healing, because that's when I feel most connected to the infinite. But I'm sorry my lack of focus kept me from seeing John in class. I never would've thought my last hug from him was when I saw him in January, indulging in a class because I coordinated with a friend to have dinner before, and a ride home with after. Yes, that's where the motivation came from.
I guess we're all in different places. I'm glad he was on the path. Was he helped by me the way I was by him on the path?
Don't know.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
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